


The Touch

by Deathangelgw



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M, POV First Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Songfic, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8300882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathangelgw/pseuds/Deathangelgw
Summary: Trowa and Heero have so much alike.





	

Title: The Touch

Author: Deathangelgw

Disclaimer: The usual sad stuff. The boys and the lyrics don’t belong to me. They belong to them…whoever ‘them’ is. So…well you know the drill.

Warnings: PWP, POV, lemon, songfic, sap, angst, references to NCS, yaoi, AU.

Rating: NC-17 most likely.

Pairing: 1x3x1

Note: well…this is kinda in answer to a challenge that Wolf had issued a bunch of us in a chat one time. Hope it fits, girlie! ~_^ (don’t know what’s with me and the songfic POVs recently…geez)

Feedback: Much appreciated!

 

/lyrics/

 

/Oh, it’s the middle of the night

And I’m reaching out for you

In the darkness I can feel

Your touch break through/

 

So many times the nights are like this. I wake up, searching for you, so unsure as to what to do with everything that has happened. You always say that you wonder why I stay with you…that you aren’t the one for me. But…I know differently. You and I…we’re kindred spirits. We had both been fighting because it was ‘orders’. Now…we are both trying to survive in a world where fighting is no longer needed.

 

You’re such a gentle person. You don’t believe me when I say that, but it’s the truth. Oh sweet one…has everything died within you? Do you truly not know the feelings with which you help me to rediscover every day? I think you do. But life was cruel to you. Mayhaps that mask isn’t the only one you wear.

 

/When I look into your eyes

And your skin is against my skin

I will hold you till the sun

Comes crashing in./

 

I wore a mask as well. But somehow…something inside of you called to me to drop that façade. No longer ‘The Perfect Soldier’, now I must find a new reason to go on. You’ve always been there for me in those times. When we didn’t know what to do or where to turn to….you were always there.

 

Fighting is all we’ve ever known. But, even memories can betray you. Right now, I can see that nightmares are taking you again. Nightmares of a past that no child should go through. My sweet Trowa…you are so strong…yet how many know just what you went through in order to gain freedom?

 

/Where would I be now?

Without the tenderness that you possess

The touch/

 

I find myself holding you close to me, letting you feel my presence, chasing away the nightmares that haunt you. You must feel me, need me, for your body curls around me, seeking my protection. My fingers slide through your hair, hair that hides your face and your pain. Another mask.

 

But, that’s all it is. A mask. I can push that mask away and look into your eyes, seeing what is hidden behind the cold life that normally shows. I know what to look for. It’s still there…a fire that keeps on fighting to survive. I’ve seen it grow the more we are together. Is it my love, my fight to be with you that keeps you going? If so…then I will never stop.

 

/The touch that makes me strong

That keeps me holding on

I come to you when times are tough

Your love is just enough./

 

Slowly, ever so slowly, your body relaxes. Have the dreams stopped, beloved? I hope they do for this night. The moonlight brings my eyes to the stars and I find myself wondering again how you survived. I remember one night when an especially bad nightmare woke you, sweating and panting, an almost unheard scream on your lips. I remember working to calm you, caressing you gently, murmuring the things that you would murmur to me when I had nightmares. But, my nightmares have since gone, taken away by your presence. Am I not doing something right?

 

Closing my eyes, I feel fresh tears threaten to betray my being awake as I remember your haunted story. You said it so coldly, never letting the emotions that must have been running through your mind show as you told me what had happened. My heart breaks with every retelling that my mind puts me through.

 

Losing your family at the age three, being raised by mercenaries and learning how to kill by the age five. I remember feeling a sense of déjà vu. It was like we were telling each other’s stories. At first.

 

/To lift me up so high

There’s nothing that I won’t give

To be with you, to reach for you

I live…for the touch./

 

Then, that sense was shattered. You told me how you were raped repeatedly by the older men of the group, used as a mere sex toy for their own pleasure. I could tell what they had done to you had scarred you. You would close down right before my eyes, becoming emotionless as you told how they would use you and then toss you aside. You survived…but did you really? Something inside of you died each time you were violated. Of that I am certain. War wounds…they can heal.

 

Violations of that kind…they do not easily heal. But slowly….so slowly it hurts, you’ve begun to trust again. Love again. Live again. But it is so hard.

 

/Oh, I wanna be the one you need

I need to be the one you see

I gotta justify the faith

You have in me./

 

In the time of the wars, you were a wonderful fighter. In the times of peace…you are everything I ever dreamed of. You may have let yourself harden, but a part of you is still the tender loving soul that was there before. I see it. I see it every time you look at me with a small smile. You think I don’t see that? It warms me beyond anything, filling me with the hope that maybe…maybe I am helping you as much as you are helping me.

 

And then…when we are together, just the two of us. No words ever have to be spoken between us. Just silent love. I know you love me. Why else are you staying with me? Obligations have been fulfilled. Fights are done. Now…we must live life. Don’t make me live it without you.

 

/You’re the beauty in my life

You’re the sun that lights my soul

You’re the other half I need

To make me whole./

 

Do you sense my thoughts? Did my contemplation awaken you, beloved? Your eyes, so green in your beautiful face, they gaze into my soul easily. Do you know what I am thinking, Trowa? Slowly, as if unsure, you uncurl yourself and look at me, comfortable to be so close to me now.

 

When we had first started being together…it wasn’t that way. We’d both pull away, still so shattered and lost from the war that neither really knew what to do. You knew the mechanics of it all and how to please me…but I…

 

No one has ever touched me like you do Trowa. Do you know this? Is that why you are so gentle and patient? Your touch reassures me like no other. You would guide me through everything and in that guidance I think you relearned about yourself too. But there is still so much healing to be done. Oh my Trowa…when will you be free?

 

/Who would I be now

Without the warmth you bring

To everything

The touch/

 

My lips, they find yours so easily. You don’t fight me; you didn’t back then either. But now, instead of shying away or just letting it happen, you push for more. I welcome the touches, feeling your arms around me, pulling me closer to you. I want to always be with you, my Trowa. You chase away the dark and fill me with peace.

 

You whisper my name so sweetly, and I hear that trace of love in your tones. It gentles your voice and fills me with gladness that I can make you so happy. Yes, happy. For now, instead of haunted eyes, I see eyes filling with a soft fire, that love of life and hope. It fills me as well and it has helped us to heal each other, though it is such a slow process. Every time we make love is another victory over the past.

 

/The touch that makes me strong

That keeps me holding on

I come to you when times are tough

Your love is just enough./

 

Your touch sends me flying again, filled with pleasure and desire. You always can awaken my desire so easily. Feather-like and gentle, you guide me to your entrance, asking for me to fill you. I do so with all my heart, longing for and loving the feeling of being within you.

 

Our ride is swift and explosive, floating down serenely from that peak that we can only reach in each other’s arms. Your soft kisses calm my heart; your tender hold secures me to this realm. Your gentle “I love you” fills my heart with warmth and love.

 

/To lift me up so high

There’s nothing I won’t give

To be with you, to reach for you

I live…for the touch./

 

We don’t wait long, coming together once more in a passionate embrace. Our relationship is so fair and freely given that we never worry about who is dominant. You never allow it. You want us to be equals. And that is what makes me love you even more.

 

You fill me so gently that I sometimes don’t even know how you get there. But then it doesn’t matter. While I am swift, you are slow, languorous. Each stroke, each caress, each thrust pushes me closer to that blissful edge again. Your name on my lips careens me over into blissful nirvana, feeling your heat fill me sending me higher. We float down as slowly as we built up, shuddering in each other’s embrace.

 

/All my life has been a journey here to you.

Every road and river

Brought me closer to the touch./

 

I find myself whispering my love for you, so deep and serene. Your smile appears again, filling me with joy at its appearance. You once again drift into sleep, a soft smile relaxing your face as I hold you safely within my arms.

 

/The touch that makes me strong

That keeps me holding on

I come to you when times are tough

Your love is just enough./

 

I gaze at you once more, just watching as you sleep peacefully. There is no one else like you, Trowa. There never will be. And one day we shall indeed heal all of your wounds.

 

/To lift me up so high

There’s nothing I won’t give

To be with you, to reach for you

I live…for the touch./

 

As you healed mine with your healing touch.

 

~Owari

 


End file.
